hah its all soo redundant

heyho ppl my blog dead at times but now its alive i only update when i feel like it heck its my blog not yours.
ok things lately has been pretty much the same.cds psychology.its tought plus boring and interesting at the same time cool or wat

i duno wat will change your heart but watever it is i think im pretty much over everything
now wat im feeling?
hmm dead not feeling a thing.just that i was hopeful before and now i think that being hopeful is a totally redundant thing
anyway if youre reading this which i dun think you are sumwhere deep in my dead heart there is still hope that maybe the feelings mutual

well i kinda had the hope feeling from this statement made by sumone i forgot

where there is hope there is still a chance
so yeah im hoping deep down there
hoping deeply that your feelings change
okie dokie till here for now nites ppl


ouh yeah areefa haha sombong siols haha
nites people

heyy peace chill

ok things are getting weirder by the min
i duno wats up with ppl
try not to be too analytical at times try to just maybe take things at surface level
maybe you will see wat i mean?
anyhoos if youve been too analytical and my hold motive and meaning has changed
to you then i deeply apologise
im the kind of guy who dun hold back
i say wat i think

anyways im deeply sorry if ive made you explode into this whole bomb of
emotions im truly deeply sorry
if you wanna clear things out again then contact me in any way you feel comfortable
but pls be in the open mind mood
ok then tc bye

ok

ok week two of semester two
damn its tough this sem no time for recuperating
ouh and i saw farah just now seriously though she looks taller and diff
in a good way
ehhehehhe
ouh and one sub i really lag in my my math sia
sumone help me
ah!!!
for the first time im actualy scared ish
okok deep breathes deep breathes

hmm ok ive kinda put the pieces together in puzzle but the pic is still blur
help me sumbody maybe shud look at it from diff perspective
or isit that its just not meant to be seen
ok ill try colouring it

ok nadia im trhough being emo ok?
lagi lagi with ppl like you ard ish
haha
bising je always asking wats wrong watswrong haha
nolah its just good to noe theres sumone who actually
want to noe about it
but im totally fine now
thanks eh gile
;)

why?

things lately?hmm it sucks lah basically.
nothing goin as expected everything crumbling bit by bit
nothings working out.
lets just be me and get it on.
right now i can hardly breathe.

ouh and another thing how the hell can i get into the same lecture class as nadia sia
for e device and dfund
like wtf? balik balik die ish mendak nye
haha
gitu eh? eh nadia joking je tau chill eh?gile!

ok lah ill try to figure things out
put the puzzle pieces together and see the big pic.
maybe thats when ill get wats happening right now
ok till here now bye bye
:)

here its for you

ok nadia im updating ok?
since you badly want to noe wats happening in my life hah
okk
sorry ah i dun think i wanna put on a tagboard malas lah
you put in for me ah?
how?
haha
kk last few days nothing much only more raya visits
ok heres wat happens
sat not a single soul came to my house
then on sunday its like a whole stampede
on whole group cam
dad was away at work and mum was bathing when the first two ppl came
that was ok i still could handle but then all at one time about 20 plus ppl came to my house
i was dumbstrucked didint noe wat to do
served drinks to them but that oso i couldnt keep track of who had their drinks and who hadnt so i just gave them cups and put one jug in front then helped mum cooked in the kitchen she fried sumthing up fast then even more ppl came so we gave up and called in the fast food pizza
haha
when the first wave of ppl came i was talking to nadia online but had to layan so told her id brb but i guess i took a long time so she went offline sorry eh?
then another wave of ppl came my god it seems never ending sia
then mon went bowling with the guys at first intended to play only two games but then added aother two
by the third game my hand had this cramp i almost let th ball go when it was at the back
then finished up the game b4 heading home.
funny thing was we were supposed to go jln raya at 6 and we finished playing at ard 5.30 pm
so we went home changed and do the wat nots then meet up and headed to the first house naz couldnt join us at the first few houses cos he was otw back from kl yeah kuala lumpur
but he joined us when we were at danials house
then went to my house then saifuls
at saifuls house everyone wanted to sut as far away as ciksu cos its been quite some time since we went ngaji
haha
she held the cane in her hand and the first person to be hit was nazri haha
then went nazris house and sat there for a while b4 heading off home all in all i reached home at ard 12.30 cool or wat haha
ok pics at the top

haha giler

okk she giler
who?she
who?
she
nadia
nadia giler
siti nadia giler
wahahaha
take that

cant you see it?

cant you see that when i say im ok with it im actually not?
cant you see that i still am trying to make things work?
cant you see that all this while i am and will continue to like you?
cant you be a little sensitve and open your eyes?
cant you see that all i want is to be with you?
those are the signs that i am trying to send you.
but nooo you dun realize that maybe its not meant for me?
love and me?well they just dun go well
hmm i suck

this video

what about now?

for whatever it is,the anslies in me the ans to all of my qns.wat isit in me that has everyone running?
you noe wat?
one slight little gesture would really make all the diff.
wat have i got to do?i have tried and tried but none seem to work.there is just something bout her that makes me feel diff.wat isit?some may think that im just being childish.but its for me to decide that.ive seen many couples.then a thrust of despair punched me hard in the face telling me that im alone.
why isit that way?
why?why?

hmm

my heart was taken by you broken by you and now it is in pieces because of you...okok a wise man once told me looks does not always matter its wats inside that counts ok old dude get updated looks matter now in every fucking single thing looks is wat everybody see now.its the inside that counts?hah yeah rite.hah every girl wants to be with a handsome dude.
ouh yah talking bout dudes ive been reading the msgs and thought to myself what exactly are you trying to say?ouh watev
in a brighter note i suck im sure lots of ppl will agree.but wat the hell?wat have i got to lose anyhoohow?everything that ive been fighting for that ive been striving for all have gave me the thumbs down.ouh watever.well ppl lets go streaking wat have we got to lose?at the most we get caught ouh and selamat hari raya hahah.lately ive been in the hari raya mood.ok fuck i noe its like three weeks away but let me have some fun lah.typical idiotic judgemental ppl hah.why do ppl like this even exist on this earth hmph.
okok till now chiao

smack

maybe its just me
ok update i did tell her and really i have been losing lotsa sleep just thinking trying to figure things out
hmm maybe im just too fucked up for anybody
fuck this shit lah i duno why every single thing i do always goes wrong wat isit with me that everyone hates?
fuck just tell me already.dun be some fucking hypocrites talking behind me and thing that i duno well news falsh ppl i have been hearing things and not from very nice smelling mouths
the foul smell of those mouths make me wanna puke
im sorie if im soo fucked up rite now but yeah thats wat i feel.i just got a wake up call rite smack in the face.those words are sharper than the sharpest blade.it cut through me like knife through butter
look im not blaming you or anything.like i said all you did was to be true and thats good real good.not being sarcastic.
im just blaming myself for being this way.im just blaming myself for my own existence in this world.
some way some how i feel that my existence is a burden to everyone on this planet
maybe i shud go to mars?
thats where man are from rite?
maybe thats where i shud go everyone of my kind would be there.
ouh then i have to be bisexual ouh just fuck it ill be wat i want when i want to be.
ill go where i want hwen i want to
and if youre asking when i update then you can go fuck yourself.cos as far as i noe it this blog is fucking mine not yours.
ouh and to you im not blaming you dun feel apologetic cos you did nothing wrong its your own freewill
no one can control that.
and to the world be a little nicer will you?

shud i?

ok i noe its been ages since i last updated but nothing much has happened. however,recently something has happened i duno how or why i shud say this but it really is appauling. wat is the feeling when you feel all jitterry and excited ard sumone?isit a feeling of like or love?i duno. wat do you look for in people? character or good looks?
hmm this is complicating huh?
hmm i met sumone and to me she is it she is that person that ive been looking for. how do i noe this?well maybe its because of her presence that makes me feel all excited and happy.i duno but one things for sure i like her so the qn shud i tell her and ask her? shud i ask her if the feeling is mutual?or maybe i shudnt.every time she does not reply i miss her

a day gone without her is me missing her.who is she? that you have to find out for yourself. my friends have seen her and they think also that she is the rite one. maybe i shud fork up all the courage i can find and tell her or maybe i shud just leave it as it is so as to not ruin the relationship now. i seriously have no idea

to that special sumone ily.

what he said

this is what materazzi said to zidane

its dumb

school has been quite hectic

days of waking up at 5.30am..

and reporting at a damn time..

aniwae ive got into this cca its samba drums its fun and awesome

and even that some people want to quit like walau too much sia..

ouh you noe my class is great we loike bonded when we meet now we are like goin out

playing soccer and goin to pool to hang out we are kind of united ah its awesome

and we all have this common word we will say.

which is two words ....too much..haha

ok back to samba some people say that they are not cut out for it..

i got trials this sat and alr told her that i will update her if i got in or not but no she just wants to quit

wah too much sia

im like trying to plead her to go but she just wont change her mind sia..its just for fun what rite not seriously mah ..walau eh..

nevermind ah just do what you want ah k?

wow

haha guess what?

my orientation is now done..it was not as good as expected bur rather boring

trust me fow was better..ouh first day was sitting in class playing games

day 2:speeches

day3:regata,and bla bla

ouh guess what happened?i talked to someone..

haha

someone..

she is nicer than expected..

very nice and you noe..haha

haha

she is oso smart and very vibrant..

she has everything planned out..if you are reading this,

i hope you like it haha

you sound like my mum

haha

ouh yah she is not from design she is from itt..

haha

ok bye

eh no fair

hei heyhoo
niwaes last few days was boring...
supposed to play soccer but i got sum stupid thingy up..
some infection..
i hope it goes away soon cos tomoro is my orientation for goodness sake..
pls god
pls
do cure me of all my ail
ouh tomoro is orientation..
real sych but spirits brought down by my body..
ahh!!!!
it relly is freakin frustratin to see that you cant do this and that ..
but wtf ill still enjoy myself..
ouh i have been asking aniq for the email add but he said havent get..
and yah its THE email add

i already promised dib niq that i will be the most enthu guy during orientation so i will
i am a man of my words..
haha
i think..
ouh yah i kinda miss the dudes from 4/4

and yesterday i gave raudha her long awaited present.
hope you like it..it put me back by a huge buck
ok then till hear for now see you bye

regret it alot man

hei again..

i really regret not talking to her..

there were a few chances for me to talk to her but i didnt..

i hope there will still be chances for me to talk to her in school or or engineering and design orientation combine that would be cool and i would be able to talk to her right?

ok im being dilarious but she is wow

incase you wondering its the komex babe

wah komex babe sia..

she was best freshie i think..

hehe

ok ok ill talk to her if i ever get the chance to talk to her

ok?

ok.

it was a blast

the past three days was my fow...
it was great you the sort of stuff you do in camps..
ouh tps mass dance is the best man like seriously no joke
and my group was accion
there is five empires they call it
phantos ,venos(squirt squirt),komex,F fyrthoand finally accion..
the cheers for my empire was good but can be better if gls are reading heheh
hint hint
ouh the mass dance is the best did i tell you that?haha ouh it is awesome

but have to admit that the first day was boring but the second and third day was fun
a.c.c.i.o.n
hehe
nice name huh?haha
ouh yah we got to go into the pond lemme repeat INTO
did the chicky dance and the chicky dance thingy was fun as well

ouh hehe i kinda think that one girl from komex was hehehe pretty
she very outstanding
ok here for now
ouh forgot to add today was the best day of all the three days..we got
WET WET WET WET
LOVE IT BB
although we got ehem
but still we had fun
thats the important thing huh gls?

wowie

haha long time never update.nothing much happening right now..since not schooling yet so everyday wake up smell the roses bathe eat sleep then wake up watch tv..but todae i went to tp to send some documents..with aniq..ouh enjoyed talking to him in the bus..ouh huda you owe me big time for helping you to send your documents..and sorry huda for not talking to you much only that aniq's convo was better..haha sorry..

ouh then i went to school for band..wow are they dead nowadays..and the band seems to be expanding rapidly..my section has become an all girl section..but still since im a very kind soul..i helped them out a little..ouh and today not a single senior was there i mean wth when i want to go no ones there but when i dun go every ones there..haha aniwae aniq adib its confirmed im goin to the workshop only i dun think goin to the camp would be a good i dea since we dont know much people there..

ouh heading back to school reminded me of lots of things..the band playing montevallo celebration brought back both good and bad memories during the syf..ouh and i miss malina she was great as a senior and a sister she is now in finland or some land goun for uni well the whole band wishes her the best of luck..ou and and in band there is this new girl in percussion who is gd looking and being a sraight guy obviously terpikat but nah not making any move cos thinks im unworthy..so yeah thats only for today..

actually was supposed to follow danial to mdis to pay his something but didnt make it sorry dan..and also wanted to follow him cos i want to see what private diploma they offer there so i can take after my poly and uni if i get that far..at least i will have something to lay back on so did not get that chance so maybe will check it another day..ok for now and bubye

wow what a day

haha
yesterday was great first i woke up from bed then bathe then packed all my things for training thenmet up with sharif and sals at the bubble tea shop
the plan was to jog a few laps at the stadium then proceed to gym for a litt;e workout with our trainer...umar...lol...haha heh no.we just ask him to spot us with the weights.since he is well build and strong...

but then when on the way there,we had the urge to kick a few balls..hehe...so who else but me that had to call umar to bring his BALLS...hehe...what you thinking its soccer balls..dirty dirty
hah niwae we asked him to bring it cos his house is the closest to the stadium..once we reached there,we expected umar to be there already but lo and behold he was late..we waited for like 1 hour then he showed..no lah it was only abt 10 mins..hehe so since he was late we started first..we jogged a few rounds before he came and he just joined there..ouh yah his excuse he had stomach ache so he went to pass out his motion haha..after ard 6 laps i was tired..due to lazing ard at home that is what i have become..unfit and FAT..i guess...then we played a little soccer at the hockey court..there were only 5 of us and we split up 2:3..the court was damn big and there were 5 of us..it is crazy tiring..then there was another group playin on the street SOCCER court..they asked us to play with them although we were tired we still played with them..and surprisingly we won..lol..i accidentally wacked one person with the ball and umar pushed one guy down..haha

then in gym,we straight away go to the weights area..i took a 5 pound dumbell and lifted it for a bit then i when to carry the bar bell sals took th 5 pound..the bar bell was 30 kg and it was damn heavy.so i changed to a 20 kg one..then after five sets i when back to dumbells but alittle heavier..ok skiping to the funny part,sals tried out the assist pull up machine salihan was ok but salihin,i dont know how he did it,slipped from the platform and the weights that were supposed to helphim crashed down..it was soo loud that every one on the gym looked at us..then salihin when to sit down ..he the slept whilst sitting amazing but true..heheh..then when we wanted to go home,salihin was not there.he was in the toilet passing his motion..hehe we waited and waited for a very long timehahaand he came out saying unsucessful..haha obviously cos we have not eaten yet..so we changed and heade for food culture..haha..

after eating,we wanted to go home but there was no 81 bus we waited for 81 but no t even one bus parked..so we walked to take 39..which did not come then we tried takin 21 which took quite along time to come but came..all in all we took about an hour waiting for the busses..no exxageration it was an hour..after reaching at my bus stop,we found out there was an accident.one bus one lorry and two cars were involved..i heard there was one person who died..

there was a huge jam at the route to changi..there were police and people but no ambulance maybe they went already..but at that time there was no ambulance..

so yeah that was yester day..

dumb system

ahhh i got the package on thursday.in case you dont know the package is for the registration of my poly and course for me to go into poly..
but unfortunately,i tried from 1200 pm in the afternoon and up till now at ard 1200 midnight..this just sucks bigtime i didnt know that it would end up this way..now im tired i stink and wose of all my whole body is sticky as i have no bathe yet...so yeah i stink now big time.this system sucks
well with the advanced technology,it should be fast and easy but up till now,im still stuck with the screen saying time over bla bla bla

ahhhhhh dumb dumb
you know they should allow people to just personally go there and register but nooo they had to do it online..
sometimes technology can make people really dumb and stupid..
whoever created this system should think about it over again..
have they ever thought of the people who are not that fortunate to have a computer in their house..then if you dont do it in a certain period of time you are not a student of the POLYTECHNIC..haaa i should have just gone to jc..save me all this trouble...haaa

this is dumb ah haiya now im stuck and stressed out..lots of things are coming up in my head now this sucks...what if i cant go to that schoolthen i wont have any eduction qualification besides o levels...then i wont have any future...seriously,right now my future of a nice life for me is getting dimmer and fading slowly away..hmmmm
ah im just bummed out and woried ahhh!!!!mixed emotions i want to shout but i cant hmmmm this is dumb ah just basically dumb...

hmm i just want to kill myself and slice myself up....haaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

04/03/08

yesterday was nothin much.woke up.bathe watch tv.bla bla bla
then went to sengkang to fetch nurul from school
ouh i went to get my passport size photo there as well.
the auntie that took my picture was a real drag..
your hair must comb lah your head is not centre.dont move the chair
bla bla bla...
mum ask me to cut my hair but no way not in a million years never
unless I think it is time but to me it is never time muahahaha

ouh saturday got match..finally but too bad rasikin wont be able to play..
i dont know on which position i should play but that will be told on the day itself..ouh shit my boots havent wash..hahaha..k have to do it now..bye

02/03/08

heyho..yesterday was a huge bummer.first my mum received my bill and it was high.then she started to scold me in out upside down.then it was my fathers turn..some people arent that lucky..thought of asking them to go to woodlands but looking at the situation i dun think its a good idea.so ther i was at home watching tv..then at ard 3 my mum asked to go to my grandparents house..it was quite fun there got to eat and played with my younger cousins...so yeah..

01/03/08

im feeling really bad about today..the plan was to go run at the stadium then head off to the gym today but unfortunately when i woke up at 7.15am,i had difficulty breathing so i couldnt go.so there i was in bed staring into space.then i remembered supposed to meet sharif at the bus stop before goin to the stadium and meet umar there..so i messaged sharif informing him that i cant make it due to the breathing..haiyah..then i layed in bed again staring into space yet again.without knowing it i fell fast asleep.i only woke up when it was 1.00pm in the afternoon.my cousin was already awake and playing.so i went to bathe.then ate then sat in front of the tv.luckily i had uno cards and more than two people to play with so it wasnt that bad i could play uno..

at around 4.30pm,my mum asked me to go to vivo city that was abit fun. then went to eat at beach road which we had to wait 1 whole damn hour before we could get a parking space..ate then went off..

friday 29 08

sorry the date is wrong figure it out yeah...

friday 29 02 08

decide not to go out so here i am back in front of the computer haha..hei guess what.adib and aniq is goin to my course at temasek poly.
haha yeah finally i have a friend or rather two friends..hah.two familiar faces to look at apart from the many new faces..haha

i dont seem to know why i cant stop thinking bout a someone..who?not telling.hmm should i just face up and tell her the truth or just let it be and let time take it toll.hmm i have this heavy feeling thats burdening me and giving me a heavy load to carry i want to push it away but it just seem to be coming back..maybe its a thing that i sould do.but wat would the other party feel?would it be happy with wat i have to say?these are the things that i have to consider before doing wat i have to do..sleepless nights always leave me thinking.should i or should i not.?what would the outcome be?would it be fair?or would it not?these thought linger in my mind everytime every second every minute..

ouh yah raudha's been bragging about how she beat the high score.stupid when the game is in her hp..in case you are wondering what game?its bubble breaker..in a pda phone she owns..like obviously she can beat it right?she obviously can spend more time playing it..hahah dumb hah
ouh yah and we did not take the job that syafiqa offered..its multi level marketing..my reason is cos i dun think i will have the time to manage it when school starts so yeah..haha..raudha's reason?i dont know.try asking her lah haha

29 feb 2008

posting early cos im going out later.to where im not sure.haha.
ouh yah today is friday so because it is friday ill be goin for friday prayers later at around 1230.haha.ouh then goin to walk around at the library.
then from there maybe ill decide later.ha
thought of goin to the gym today but unfortunately my gym mates cant make it..haha.in case you are wondering, my gym mates are umar and sharif.
nevermind they suggest goin tomorow cos they ar not schoolingso yeah today maybe just walk ard meaninglessly.
see some eye candy and then maybe go home...haha
ok then..ouh yah yesterday saiful came over to play ps2..haha actually i played.he was in front of the computer watching meet the spartans..haha
hilarious movie..catch it..

thursday 28 02 08

first day of blogging first time.gimme a break.this computer that i juz got a few months back is way better and way faster than the dumb old computer that i use to have.so today not going out lazy and tired to do so.i cant wait till school starts.i wont be this bored then.however,this life is awesome.just slacking awayand waking up late.haha ok